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Dissent is the capacity of an organization or relationship to allow each other to express a different point of view. If you are not allowed to say NO (dissent), does your YES have any real meaning?
When these 2 characteristics are present, whatever the dysfunctions, issues, differences – we can talk about it. There is a possibility of creating something new.
Where ever I show up, I use these 2 values to determine if this is a place I can be myself.
Since it is true, the only person I can change is myself; being with a group that does not allow for T&D taps into my unhealthy side. I have to remind myself of this - a LOT. If I'm not allowed to say NO, my NO will manifest in a passive agressive way.
What is the attraction in these places? I'm guessing it is because I have not fully let go of my desire to fix others and change others. It seems easier to fix others, than fix myself. BUT being in a dysfuntional environment/relationship is guaranteed to drown out the small voice saying - "you can only change yourself".
Writing this today was me remembering my struggles these last few years with church. You would think that church would be the one place where they would value transparency and dissent...AND you’d be wrong.
I’ve talked with enough former church staff and members to know that this is what has driven many of us to the position of “church alumni”. (Read unChristian by David Kinnaman or Jim and Casper Go To Church by Jim Henderson and Matt Casper.)
We (church alumni) still love Jesus’s Bride – but we’re in pain because of how church leadership has allowed their egos to harm The Bride and the people they are supposed to be serving. We’ve tried working within the system to help make it better, but after being beat up pretty bad (spiritual, emotional abuse) – we are going to try from the outside.
A few of the wounded have started their own churches and are doing well – they are small churches – but very powerful in how they are serving the community. I’m sure there must be one of these in Cincinnati – maybe I haven’t looked in the right place.
What has been your experience with transparency and dissent?
